The Dream

For 4 minutes and 43 seconds forget about being anti-McCann, forget about being pro-McCann, forget about anything other than being a mother with a missing child. Forget your prejudices, forget the law-suits, the media, forget about Amaral, the PJ and Scotland Yard, just put yourself in the shoes of a mother who has a child who is missing.

I have never seen this video and thanks to Pamela on Facebook at 9am in the morning she has me in tears.  I think even if I did not support the McCanns,  I would have still felt the same, because I am a mum and I love my son and I know exactly how I would have felt if he was missing and I didn’t know where he was or if he was still alive.

Madeleine – Chapter 15

On the night of 1 September I dreamed about Madeleine for the first time in four months. I was astonished that this hadn’t happened before. The workings of the mind are impossible to fathom. It was a good thing it hadn’t, because it was such a dreadful experience – far more painful than anything that had occurred in real life since the night she was taken – I’m not sure I could have survived it in the early weeks.

We had a call from one of the girls at the children’s nursery school. ‘Guess what?’ she said.  ‘Madeleine’s here! She’s been here for a couple of days.  She’s fine.’  And sure enough, there was our Madeleine. She looked beautiful, just asI remembered her.  I ran over to her, my face split by the widest smile, the tears running down my cheeks, and just held her and held her and held her.  Although I was dreaming. I could feel her.  It was as if parts of my body that had been hibernating for four months suddenly began to stir.  I could sense the cold, dark days lifting as I luxuriated in warmth and light. And Madeleine was holding me, her little arms wrapped tightly round me, and it felt so good.  I could smell her.  I could feel her with every one of my senses as I socked up this heavenly moment.

My Madeleine.  I wanted to stay like this for ever.  And then I woke up.

Ice began to course through my body, driving out every endorphin and remnant of warmth.  I didn’t understand. What was happening?  How could this be?  I could still feel her!  A heavy boot connected with my stomach and the ache in my chest was worse than I’d ever known it.  I was struggling for breath,almost as if I were strangled. Please God, don’t let her go!.  Stay with me, Madeleine.  Please stay with me.  Don’t go – stay with Mummy.  Please, sweetheart, hold on. I love you so much.

I started to cry.  The crying built into seismic sobs.  An unearthly sound, like the howl of a wounded animal, was coming out of my mouth.  The crushing pain in my chest intensified to the point where I thought I was going to die.

I’d been with her.  And then she was gone.  Again.

Kate McCann

That video and those words touched my heart. Any mother who can not feel empathy and compassion for a mother in a similar situation must have a heart of stone.

Kate McCann through her pain, her anguish, still helps other families of missing children.  Tomorrow she is running for the Missing People’s charity in their annual Miles for the Missing.  You can sponsor Kate by donating on her JustGiving page. Forget about prejudices, think about what your donation can do for a family of a missing person.

Because none of us know what is around that corner, we might even find ourselves seeking the help of Missing People, should ever someone we love goes missing.  Fate can play a cruel hand at times and any one of us could be in a situation where we don’t know if the person we love, who happens to be missing, is still alive or if they have died.


3 comments on “The Dream

  1. Your post has moved me to tears.  She needs to be found sooner rather than later.  Good luck Kate in your run tomorrow.  How she keeps focused I will never know but she is very brave and all antis should be ashamed of themselves and their actions.

  2. I’m sitting here crying too. As a mother, I cannot but have great sympathy for Kate. The sheer thought of one of my children being missing leaves me in a panic. To actually have to live this day in and day out must be unbearable. And yet… she helps so many others. You have to admire someone that has the ability to give to others even while her own heart is breaking. 

  3. As a Father, I’m choked… what a nightmare, those poor lovely, heart-broken people.

    We must all do what little we can to help Kate and Gerry maintain their hope and belief that Madeleine will some day find her way home.

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